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The art of self-love to stop asking permission and trusting your own decisions

The art of self-love is the act of loving yourself, not because you have to but simply because you deserve it. When we love ourselves we can stop asking permission and trusting our own decisions. This blog post will explore how to get started with self-love as well as some helpful tips for nurturing your relationship with yourself.

One thing I’ve learned over the years is that it’s nobody’s job to give you permission, permission to do what you want or be who you are. Your most significant breakthrough will come when you realise that all this time, there was never any need for asking anybody else for their approval. Why? Because in a world where we’re always told “no” by somebody somewhere along the way – your self-love and trust in yourself become more valuable. Why? Because once you’ve found self-love and confidence in yourself – just like a best friend would do for us -you will come into this new sense of freedom!

What is it with asking permission as a grown-up? It doesn’t matter how old you are; when we make choices that could have consequences on our life, there’s always some nagging voice in the back of your head wondering if people will agree. It goes back to thinking about what would happen if I made this choice and x,y,z had an opinion on it-would that change your mind?

We think of validation through other people when making decisions instead of just trusting our instinct because we don’t trust and love ourselves enough!

Growing up, I spent a lot of time asking permission, thinking twice before every other word coming out of my mouth by fear. If you suffered from the good girl syndrome then, maybe you can relate to this.

You might have thought that people with authority, parents, teachers and clergy members knew better than you what was good for you. But I’m here, to tell the truth: following your heart will liberate you!

  • You were terrified of disappointing people, which meant you didn’t dare to be yourself. It sounds devious actually because that means you weren’t relying on others to understand who you really are but rather what they expected from YOU!

Trying hard to tick all their boxes completely sanitising your personality in the process to the point of becoming a bore by constantly trying to please and being in control of the image you built of yourself. Which may look like:

  • The pupil who works hard doesn’t speak up and sits still for hours

  • The perfect child never complains and channels her anger against herself, sulking for hours rather than getting it all out.

  • The model employee hoping that working hard would get her noticed and promoted.

You’ve been spending your life thinking about what other people think of you, but the truth is that they don’t care! There are many ways to get out of this low place, and one way might be just permitting yourself. It may sound simple enough at first, but it takes time for anyone to build up their courage or find bravery in themselves when all they know is fear.

You’ve spent a lot of time worrying about how others feel, whether or not you should do something because someone else will disagree with it, etc., and then finally realised – these days, there’s only so much we can control! The answer? Loving Yourself First…and foremost: You give yourself permissions without asking those around them if it’s okay.

I challenge you to make decisions without asking for permission! You’re enough and know exactly what’s good for you. It doesn’t mean that your life has to be egotistical – instead, it just means that all these decisions are down to you at the end of the day, all these decisions are down to YOU.

Forgive yourself for the past, move on and don’t keep being resentful. You know exactly where you want to be with your life – at the bottom of it!

We tend limit ourselves. I invite you to continue writing down your dreams without censoring them or getting stuck into thinking about what you should do rather than just doing something that feels right, aligned with who you are.

Follow your true path; live how you feel is best a la carte style because no one else can tell us who we are better than ourselves.

The key to being happy is knowing what you want and taking the steps necessary to achieve it. Often, we ask for permission from others or wait until a specific time before doing something new, but if there’s one thing that I hope this blog post has taught you today, it’s how vital self-love is in achieving happiness. What will you not ask permission for anymore?

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Download “How to Get Your Mojo Back PDF”

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Portraits of Rachel by Corina Tough, Molly matcham