Confidence your magic mindset
Have you ever wondered why it took you so long to change direction in your career, finally acknowledge your passion and follow your heart? Or are you still wondering?
I will tell you a secret not really a secret though, it’s pretty obvious though but as a woman you tend to make two steps forward and three backwards because you’re scared and lacking confidence, you sometimes have too much time to think things over and then you give up. I have been in this position so many time and have finally shifted my mindset which I hope will help you shift yours.
As an entrepreneur you can’t wait for people to knock on your door, you have to go out there for people getting to know you, promote yourself, knock on doors. I often felt super confident ready to knock on door of my dream client and when it was time to take action I stopped, thinking they will never reply anyway, I’ve got no chance! Sure if you don’t try you will never get a chance, its like 100% of the lottery winners have played, right?
How did I shift my mindset?
I worked on my self-esteem, self-Love is the foundation of self-confidence, once you realise that your confidence comes from inside, not from artefacts or feel good factors like getting promoted at work, you realise that whatever happens to you deserve the best. If self-esteem is an issue for you, start looking at ways to improve it, it can sound weird to look in the mirror and say “ I love you” this might be your first step though. Self-esteem doesn’t happen overnight, and you have to work at it. Start practicing self love today. Shifting your self-esteem will boost your confidence as well and allow you to take further steps in your life.
I’m not scared of a no anymore
What stopped me so often to ask, send out a cold email, or pitch myself was the fear of being told No. What I realised is at least no is an answer because you know what? There’s no risk of getting a no by not asking and even less chances to get a yes. So when you’re ready to put yourself out there, don’t focus on the outcome but the possibilities, for sure people will not reply and say no but the more you try, the more you increase your chances of getting a yes! How does that sounds?
Ask yourself what is the worst that can happen?
This is the perfectionist in you thinking what if I get the job, and I’m not good enough. You know why men apply for job where they only have 60% of the skills? They go for it and figure it out afterwards.
This is also what Tara Mohr is saying in her book Playing Big about women holding back, playing small, by lack of confidence and too many inner critic voices, not feeling ready, is this what is going on in your mind? I still need to take more education, more training, no good enough, too old etc...
First of all don’t fear failure, failure is not a dirty word it’s called building experience, secondly ask yourself what is the worst that can happen? What is the solution if it happens, you surely will figure it out. Learn to live in the moment and let it happen you will always have time to think about it, when what you fear really happens, if it ever does!
Celebrate your successes. What are you afraid of? Forget about the fear and go for this job that you have been lurching for.
Build your confidence every day
Take it a step further everyday, take a different route, go and say hello to new working colleagues, speak up at least once during a business meeting. Learn a new skill, speak to a stranger on the tube, stop judging yourself, the best way to learn to stop the judging voice inside you is to start practicing meditation even if only for 5 minutes that’s a great start because you will soon realise that you can stand in a queue without being bombarded with inner thoughts, meditation has taught you to calm the inner chatter.
Do not give up
Practising self-love and building your confidence can seem unattainable, it’s not, it’s called self-development it will require practice but once you get there, it will open new doors for you and take you to newer horizons you could not even imagine!
Has a lack of confidence been holding you back? What have you done to tackle it?
PS. Take your first step today towards the magic mindset of feeling confident . I have one pro-bono (complementary) coaching series with 6 session available. Get in touch now book a complementary call and fill out the questionnaire below. Read more about life coaching opportunity here.